1. |
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HOLIDAY on ICE
A holiday on ice, a holiday on ice,
let's fly away today to paradise...
Donkeys were banned beside the sea-side
'coz of the mess they made at low-tide;
just close your eyes and it will disappear,
crack a another pack of iced beer.
A holiday on ice,
let's fly away today to paradise.
A holiday on ice,
we booked a bargain holiday for 99p plus the excess baggage fee...
Feel so good, don't want to go back,
making doilies of the ice-cap,
click-clack, kick off you shoes, it's fun, fun, fun,
sticky lollies in the noon sun.
A holiday on ice,
let's fly away today to paradise.
A holiday on ice,
let's all wave our flags and cheer the gaping gap appearing in the stratosphere...
I'll think about that in the morning,
or just before the final warning;
sit back, book in your lap, don't face the facts:
we are on holiday and that's that !
A holiday on ice,
let's fly away today to paradise.
A holiday on ice,
let's raise a glass and toast ourselves into cannibals of the English coast...
Water's rising up the poop-deck,
but we're only up to our neck:
don't run, don't panic, what the heck, relax!
full steam ahead on the Titanic!
A holiday on ice,
let's fly away today to paradise.
A holiday on ice:
we've 5 more years of summer days,
5 more years of fun before we fizzle out like gravy on the fire-place...
I'll think about that in the m...
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2. |
my fair lady
03:37
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ROUGH APPROXIMATION:
MY FAIR LADY
you know I love you baby !
i know, i know, i know, i'm doing you wrong
that's why i keep rewriting this song,
i thought at least on paper it might work out...
my love for you: a tall tree in a storm underneath a rainbow.
if that was true, why should i be torn ?! by differing views ?
I wanna make a baby !
oh no oh no oh no i just changed my mind.
it felt so good, so true at the time
like Glastonbury Hill or that purple wine...
my love for you is like a summer's day:
dogs die in hot cars.
we've come so far, why not go all the way ?!
out of the frying pan and into the fire...
how many times after all these years have i been struck by lightning ?
how many times the minotaur will bite
the oh so exciting, terribly frightening Tuesday Night ?
have I forgot you baby ?
but i remember now we're getting undressed,
i mean to say you're simply the best,
at least the best lord Alzheimer's gonna get...
my love for you is starting to define the word « procrastination » ,
playing for time, the same old petty crimes:
Charles and Diana ?! Sam and Delila ?!
training Eliza Doolittle to lie
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3. |
late victorian
04:05
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late victorian
planet blue, planet zoo, late victorian;
noah's ark, pleasure park, final boarding;
furnace fires, dreaming spires see the dawn in...
children playing on a precipice,
teach your cannonball to fly;
alpha males, fairy tales,
don't you think that river has run dry?
super-powers, cooling towers, statues falling;
flying fish, make a wish, painting dorian;
moving lips, pleasure trips, airships mooring...
children sleeping on a razor's edge,
counting castles in the sky;
we saved the whale, burnt the jails,
taught the laughing hyena to cry...
children building in the wilderness
a great glass ceiling in the sky,
open your eyes, open you eyes,
see this dying world with new-born eyes;
we heard the word, heard the word,
the late victorians just learned how to fly...
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4. |
watering the cactus
02:45
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Watering the Cactus
Watering the cactus with my naked mum,
she's a porno actress for the pentagon;
very carnivorous chorus of old chums
Humping in the bunker with an aqualung,
a rubber liposuction coagulating in the sun;
hope nobody saw us! we got him! eat your ham!
Boy I read the news today,
another messy market day;
funny how the photographs look like daddy's dirty mags!
Mr Halliburton has a certain charm,
he's got the country working on a turkey farm;
liberate the nation! gouranga! wash your hands!
Doctor it's a special case, my little boy has lost his face;
dip the cactus in the bath, it will grow back with a graft.
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5. |
zero
04:36
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Zero
My name is Zero. Hello.
I am your super-hero.
I've got a private yacht with mock-baroque casino,
a private zoo: and I want YOU.
I sell sunlight at midnight,
last night you turned out the light:
Who's there baby?
Just close your eyes, don't ask why,
I've got a little something for you,
just step this way...
would you care for champagne...
or maybe something a little bit stronger?
You know I love you baby,
but I've gotta go,
business, you know...
Good night, sleep tight;
thank you so much for the show!
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6. |
hansior and havior
07:10
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Hansior and Havior
Some said they were friends, some enemy twins,
some said they were lovers grown apart;
but count back from the start, each suiting a part,
twin poles of one planet's teeming heart:
one was born in winter, one in spring,
Hansior, Havior, who will be king ?
Hansior claimed the fortune of the rolling hills,
Havior the coal mine and the iron mill;
but each true his art, fine servant of one
invincible empire's setting suns.
Lilly, pale as a Dane
Lilly, early morning rain
Lilly, is it your real name ?
Lilly, are you still on the game ?
Hansior offered primal flowers, a servant's wing,
Havior a granite tower and diamond ring;
each claiming a heart long kept in the dark,
foul-wintering crocus baiting spring:
when our two blind boxers take the ring,
Hansior, Havior who will be king ?
They met at the races on a stormy day;
the north wind blew the colours of the sky away.
« I saw you this morning, a clouded swan
warned me we were made to meet this day undone »
She bit her lip, and smiled;
and fluttered on the cavalry.
« Lilly, step off the boat,
Lilly may I take your coat?
The city's looking swell tonight,
like my wife before the back-flip... »
« Lilly, this is my pitch,
Lilly, I'll plant my bridge
there where two black Hudsons merge,
as suspenders span the free world... »
« Lilly, I like your taste,
Lilly, I know a little place...
I'll take liver, kidney, tripe;
a man of taste never denies a deep gut... »
Rising from the ballroom in a Great Black Silk Balloon,
through enchanting landscapes in pre/post-war bloom;
there's a battle yet to run, a conquest to be made,
I've got to take a photograph before the picture fades.
Why do I with Lilly choose to fly into the night,
when I know that I will loose the kite-strings of my life?
It's hardly for the memory of what we do in bed;
more to turn the wheel around,
to forge a feather out of lead,
to turn the world clean upside-down by walking on my head.
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7. |
jesus was a hippy
04:34
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jesus was a hippy
jesus was a hippy, he'd travelled far
with open sandals and electric guitar;
all of his disciples lived in the van,
playing on their bongos and saying "hey far out man!!"
he went down to the temple, the priest wasn't cool,
tried to send old jesus back to sunday school;
all of his teachers wearing cheesy grins,
"hey man.." said jesus, "you're doin' my head in!!"
i wanna be like jesus x3
right now!!
hey wow!!!
i wanna be like jesus, by your lovin' flame...
so pass that smoke man...in jesus' name!!
i wanna be like jesus x3
right now!!
hey wow!!!
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8. |
prisoners of neverland
03:37
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Prisoners of Neverland
When I have a perfect face (preferably dominant race)
and sex and perfect skin, I will be the King of Neverland.
I will find a dream-ticket in your box of chocolates:
when you bite the final twiglet, you’ll awake the King of Neverland…
Is this Beverley Hills or Antarctica ?
Are we lost at the fair?
Or are we somewhere in Africa?
My best friend’s a chimpanzee, is that so extraordinary?
Leave your egos in the hall, come and join the ball in Neverland...
Is it day here or night?
Neverland is a dangerous place;
Fairy-tales are never black or white;
Dynasty, just don’t turn on the light:
It’s a state of mind that winners choose.
Great Red Carpet in the Sky,
When the final curtains rise…
So this is it: beaming lights, screaming fans
streaming through the golden gates of Neverland…
Angels white as aspirin:
Elvis, Janis, Jimmy Dean, Karen, Kurt and Marilyn:
Hark ! the heavenly Band Aid playing
“We are Prisoners of Neverland…”
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9. |
police frogman
03:22
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Police Frogman
In the treacherous water of a leacherous Limehouse Dock
with a a wake of floating white scum and plastic cups,
we discovered a man-cub in a rusting Escort parts:
when forensic did their sums we’re counting Wormwood Scrubs
Police Frogman
In the murky water of a Berkshire gravel pit,
where the lazy grazing tench nibble rotting guests,
we discovered a thorax with a 20-inch iron wrench,
and a punctured coat-stub marked «cloakroom of the Ritz»
Police Frogman
An unfortunate Scotsman in a tangled parachute,
bobbing the bed-springs: hail Mary full of grace!
like a little black kitten in a delicate bag of lace:
recognize the poor bastard staring you in the face?
Police Frogman
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10. |
great white worm
11:33
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GREAT WHITE WORM
I've been waiting in the Well of Darkness since before the Dawn of Time.
Ancient Heroes came to hunt me,
here they met their Fateful Doom:
here they met the GREAT WHITE WORM!
Now I'm waking with a Hateful Hunger for a taste of human flesh.
O coward crouching in your bunker,
turn to face your Fateful Doom!
Turn to face the GREAT WHITE WORM!
Venerate
the Immaculate
Inverterbrate...
GREAT... WHITE... WORM !!!
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Mr Diagonal Brussel, Belgium
mr Diagonal (aka Dan Barbenel) is a multi-faceted musician/ songwriter at the frontiers of
pop, cabaret and
theatre music.
In true diagonal fashion, he always cuts a dash and declines to cut corners.
PLEASE NOTE
I have closed my evil Paypal account.
Without which no man may buy or sell on bandcamp.
To buy stuff please email me at daniel.barbenel@gmail.com
... more
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